our first move

I'm considering this our first move, because to me it was a big one. All the others shouldn't count. Well, at the end of the Winter 2015 school semester, the end of April, we moved to Arizona. Yes, Arizona, my dearest husband's home land. He assured me after living there, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

Being 30 weeks pregnant, and driving 15 hours, you might assume I got a little cranky. You'd be right. I even shed a few tears. And by a few, I mean a lot. Our car was stuffed full. Stuffed. Full. My seat was pulled all the way up, my legs crossed, items below my feet and on my lap. Remember,  I was pregnant. This was not my ideal situation. We also had to assure we'd have room for a little one in the back seat for our journey back to Idaho in five months. So, you could say we were cramped.

I promised him I would never do that again. 

I would be flying with our baby back to Idaho (and that's just what we did).

the reason.

We decided to move to Arizona for the summer for my husband's internship. He would be working in Scottsdale for JW Marriott at their prime resort. He's a Business Management major, and it seemed like the perfect fit. His recruiter was so kind and really helped line him up to get a great experience. It was honestly a miracle that they had an opening so close to where he lives, let alone in the same state. We were prepared to go anywhere, but when we heard Arizona, we knew it was the right thing for us.  
Was I hesitant? Yes. I would be thirty - forty weeks pregnant in the heat of Arizona's summer. Did that sound fun? No. Did that matter, not in the least bit.

arizona life.

It is because of this place I finally know my cardinal directions, and they actually mean something. As long as I'm on Guadalupe facing towards Fry's Marketplace. I really got to see everything that Arizona offers. We went tubing down rivers, boating on the reservoirs, swimming at Grandma's and for cool nightly walks around the lakes (they're actually ponds), and lazy-ing around lazy rivers. Really, Arizona is pretty great. And even if it is 115 degrees outside, and I'm a pudgy pregnant lady, I didn't have much to complain about. 

If I could complain about anything, and I can't, but I will. I'll say that it stinked being home while he had to work. His love for Arizona was so large, that if I were to experience any of it without him, he'd be crushed. Well, at least that's what I like to think. The truth is, I didn't want to do anything without him. I craved for the time we got to spend together. Which, was more often than scarce, that's for sure. He had a great work schedule that made it perfect for us to have enough time together throughout the week. Some days had more than others, but on the days when it wasn't too much, we'd make a sonic run.   

the real reason.  

It was awesome living in his home town. I was finally able to really understand what my husband saw about Arizona that made him want to live and die there. The truth is, it wasn't the gorgeous palm trees, the weird rocky yards, or $1.25 pool passes. It was his family. Family meant more than all that. And underneath his desert rat facade, I began to agree. 

I had always known his family was great, but I tell ya, spending five consecutive months with them, really developed my relationship and love for them. They became my own family. Not just my in-laws. Some are not as lucky as I am to have lived so close to in-laws, and enjoy it. But I really did.

I owe a large majority to my sweet mother-in-law, Wendy. Wendy has an amazing ability to create time. Amid all her daily responsibilities she had, she always managed to make time for me. I really appreciate her, and the time we were able to spend with each other. I learned so much from her example. Wendy never ceases to amaze me. She is so full of love and service. I have never see her back down on an opportunity to help someone in need. I am so lucky to have been able to see her in action, because I don't think she really knows what a wonderful woman she is, and she certainly wouldn't tell anyone if she did. Each day she would make it a priority to spend time and talk to me and always invited me to do something with her. At the time I didn't have the energy to participate in much, but boy do I wish I would have more often than I did. The time I spent with her was filled with joy. No matter the conversation. Isn't that an amazing quality, so be filled with joy, so much, that it radiates from you? If you can't tell, I really admire her. No wonder Kevin turned out so good. 

I never understood Kevin's longing for this place, until I thought about leaving it.

We had his spectacular parents, Bob and Wendy. If there ever were two people who loved each other, this was them. 

We had his eldest brother Aaron, his wife Emily, and their irresistible two kids, Jordan and Sienna. They always had something positive to say. They never left you without a smile.

We had Jeff, who always makes you feel wanted and, guaranteed, would make you laugh at least three times. 

We had Grandma Jensen, who never let you go without a full embrace, radiating her love for you.  

so all in all...

We were pretty blessed. We were surrounded by people who we loved. And, we even got to see them every Sunday. Those were the best days of the week, because those were the days that my love for them grew the most.  

and it is quite possible, that we will be back.  







But wait there's more... these are just a few snapshots of our beautiful summer before our sweet baby girl came. It was filled with too much fun and unremarkable memories.

 

an expanding family.

This past New Year's Day, we made an exciting announcement:

our family would be growing by two small feet and one cute button nose. 

We were so excited to share our thrilling news. 

This little miracle has been one of our greatest blessings.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

On Wednesday, February 25, my birthday... in case you were wondering, we had our 20 week anatomy scan. We had been so concerned and worried about development and proper growth. We truly wanted our baby to be as healthy as possible, and have been trying our hardest to provide all we could. The scan was amazing. Not only did we get to see our baby, but we got good news about the health, development, and progress. The heart was beating. Blood flowing. Kidneys working. Brain in function. Spine complete. And best of all, the gender was confirmed. 

She is the cutest little bug I've ever seen. Her heartbeat was 147. She weighs 14 oz and is just over 10 inches long. This perfect little girl has the cutest little feet, tiniest nostrils, most adorable femurs,  and such precious little hands. It was on more than one occasion that she'd kick and I'd feel it. It was such a beautiful moment seeing her move and knowing she is healthy and well. 

Just thinking about this beautiful little one makes me tear up. I never knew how much you could love someone you had never met before. Or how much worry could be packed into such a small space. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant and hormonal, I carry her everywhere I go, and my thoughts are constantly consumed by the process. But, maybe it's because of all the struggle it took to finally get here, and how strongly I want her to make it to the very end. 

I know there are many out there who face trials much larger than ours. While beginning this process, I had many fears. Many of those fears are faced each day by women all around us. My heart aches for all the struggles every woman faces, because I know I could never bare whatever burden they have been asked to carry. 

However, that does not take away the reality of the personal trials that he and I have faced together. 

After two miscarriages and two beautiful angels sent to heaven, I feared to ever try again. My heart was heavy, and my soul desperate for comfort, love, protection, reassurance, and confidence in myself. My dear husband and I didn't know how to deal with the loss of a little one, or even two. We had never anticipated it. We wanted them so bad, and we were so close. 

To love an individual so much, but never hold them in your arms, or sing them to sleep is tough. 

However, it was through these two beautiful lives, that I learned so much. 

I learned to forgive myself for what I was not responsible. 

I learned to have trust in my God and His plan. 

And most importantly,

I learned to not fear, but instead, have faith. 

The trial of loosing a life, at such a young age, before you had even met, may seem trivial to others.  But to us it was everything. I learned that each of those lives were indeed blessings. No matter how long we were able to care and hold each of them, I'm glad I had the chance to be the vector that allowed each of those babies to gain a body and pass through this life. 

This child, the one we hold so close our hearts, worry so much about, and consumes all of our time, before the birth has even taken place, is the reason for it all. Regardless of all the pain and tears, we now have a beautiful blessing that we can call ours once again. Except this time, no matter how long we have to spend together, it will be filled with joy. Had we not lost the others, we would not have the precious soul we have right now. I already cannot imagine life without this little girl, and I'm grateful for the circumstances that we've been blessed with to hold her as long as we have.

It is through our trials that we truly gain these beautiful blessings. Yes, we have doubts, fears, and concerns. But none of those are too large that faith cannot conquer. This beautiful baby has a long way to go, but we are so happy that our path has taken us this far. 

Regardless of the end result,

it is better to rejoice while we have reason, than to fear when we have none.

Because of this, we have tried to embrace all the moments we can. And as you can tell we are pretty excited about it all.

July 10th, here we come.

one year of bliss.

Do you remember me telling you how much I wanted to go to Zion's National Park?
Well I did. It was my dream. On my bucket list. And he knew it.
So for our one year anniversary, we decided we'd finally go.

Let me preface this by explaining how awesome I thought it would be.
In reality, I didn't even know if I'd survive. For many reasons:
One, I am terrified of heights. Super terrified. Guys, I can't even jump off the high dive... Angel's Landing might not be the best place to try and conquer that fear. Ya know, considering there aren't any guard rails, and my life would be in the hands  of, well, me. I don't think I trust me.

We drove down to Zion's, and got in too late. All the good camping spots were taken, so we had to drive out a ways and stopped at a sketchy motel-car-camping spot. Just for the night, he told me. We set up our tent and listened to the conversations that were happening several feet away. After sleeping on gravel for a few hours, we woke up the first sign of dawn and packed up.

We drove back to the camping lot and found a beautiful spot, just for us. It was right by the river, and deer were parading around their own territory. We got cute pictures and videos of them, but it just doesn't do it justice.

After setting up camp we decided we'd tackle the bull by the horns and hike Angel's Landing.

angel's landing.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

It was a beautiful day. It was sunny, but still had enough cloud coverage that the heat wouldn't kill us. We walked out by the river and across the way and made it to an oddly convenient bus that drove us throughout the entire park. And at the second to last stop, they dropped us off. Mind you, my hands were very sweaty due to the reality of my fear coming to life. 

I told myself I'd just take it one step at a time. And honestly, I did. We started out crossing a bridge and making our way up the side of a mountain hiking the switchbacks. After ten minutes I decided we were high enough to appreciate a beautiful view and we should head back... He had other plans. Not only did the height of this hike scare me, but I also have really bad knees, ankles and arches, not to mention asthma. Yeah, I'm the cutest little package you've ever met. So, only ten minutes in, people were already starting to pass me. But it was okay. I could finish this, and I'd do it to prove to mind and my body that they couldn't stop me.

Around each turn there was a new view. We took so many videos and pictures, but unfortunately they were mostly captured on the way back. (oh, and for our one year anniversary, I got him a GoPro! So If I post any videos, know we're just beginners... and don't expect any professional quality just yet. We haven't even learned how to crop them yet...) Here is my favorite picture I was able to capture. It looked exactly like this. So beautiful.

The top is what so many travel so far to find. But, the experience at the bottom was just as fun. Our hidden little treasure to help us cool off after a sweaty hike.

But my favorite part of this hike were all the people we met on the way. There were so many visitors from other countries all speaking in their native language. Its a surreal feeling when you are surrounded by nature and a group of diverse people come together to appreciate it together.

the narrows.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Now that I had accomplished my 12 step program to help me conquer my fear of heights, I felt I was ready for anything. Especially the narrows. I had heard about them all my life, and I was finally here. Only a bus ride away. I wish I could share every picture and video of this entire trip, but I know I'd boar you to death. Just know. The narrows are totally worth all the twisted ankles, blistered feet, and cold water. It was my favorite part of the entire trip.

We began in a rather large group, since we all got off the bus together. There were large families, groups of friends, and loved ones all along the way. Except the farther you got out, the less dense it would become. I think that's because they knew what you hiked in you had to hike back. The hike took us all day. We went as far as our little feet could carry us. We explored waterfalls, small and large, deep swimming pools, beautiful scenery and a truly once in a lifetime experience.

One day we'll have videos compiled and it'll show how amazing both of these adventures really were.
But these will have to do for now.

sand hollow.
Saturday, August 16, 2014

We left early that morning for a hotel in St. George. Today was our anniversary. We had big plans. It was a good feeling to walk into a hotel knowing I could take a shower and sleep on a soft bed. But before we did any of that, I had to take him to Sand Hollow. I knew he would love it. There's beautiful red rocks to jump off, the water isn't freezing, and it's somewhat clear for being a reservoir. He didn't believe me. And consequently wasn't too excited. Here is a little video (that yes we compiled, quite ammeter I know.. Bare with us.) that depicts our fun adventure.

And despite climbing to the top of Angel's Landing, I'm still a tad scared of heights;
even the six foot landing I jumped off.

He likes to jump off things...


Top it all off,  that night we went to dinner at a five-star restaurant. The chef personally came out to greet us and presented to me a beautiful red rose. He was quite the casanova. We ate a splendid dinner, dessert on the house, and ended it off with a romantic evening with my man.

This trip was well worth the time off work, and the personal time he and I were able to spend together. I can't wait until we can do something like this again. It was perfect.

spontaneity.

 

april twenty fourteen.

This was one of our most needed vacations. 

Just moved to a different state.

And we needed to get away. And fast. 

It was the end of the semester. 

We were both starting new jobs. 

We decided that very day that we'd rent a car, and drive to California.

we're spontaneous. i know.

the drive.

We packed our bags, and headed to the rental place. The car guy was very friendly, and handed the keys right over. I found out that spouses drove for free. even better. I was used to him in the driver's seat as I sat along for the drive on the passenger's side. i don't drive stick. This beautiful car was automatic. Did I want to drive? Yes. Well it had been a while--so I thought. He started out driving, being the man in the relationship... he insisted. 

The first portion of the trip was mainly hills. Car after car continued passing us on the freeway. These hills were killing us. At some points he would complain the car couldn't go any faster. Oh silly, you just don't know how to drive an automatic. Let your wife show you how it's done. After finally switching seats, I thought I'd show him that it wasn't the car. He just didn't know how to keep momentum up on the hills. After 6 hours, I finally concluded, he was right. Something was wrong with our car. 

We honestly could only go 45 on the freeway. The car was very inconsistent, even with the pedal to the floor. Well, we were already in the middle of nowhere. We had just passed Vegas... and nothing is passed Vegas. So we pulled over where we could find some reception and called the service hotline. The guy told us to drive back to Vegas and switch our car... 

Excuse me sir, I don't know if our car will make it. We have no gas. 

Somehow we made it to Vegas. I have no idea how. But we dropped off our car, and the lady told us.. get this.. It's a good thing you came when you did. Your car has no oil. The car could have blown up at any given time. Thank you. Thank you for telling me I almost died. Give me a better car at no extra cost. So they did. And let me tell you. It made the rest of the trip so much better. 

And we didn't get blown up. 

c a l i f o r n i a .

We arrived in California after 12 long hours of music blaring, loads of laughter, and a little passenger side sleeping. We pulled up to his sister's apartment just out of Los Angeles. Amy, his sister, has the cutest kids, and an awesome husband too. But man, those kids... the cutest chunky cheeks and most adorning eyes. We just wanted to stay home all day with those little ones, even if they did have a runny nose. Amy and Ryan were the greatest hosts. They showed us around town and advised us of the many activities we could participate in. 

stop number one: Our first stop was the Santa Monica Pier. We went with Amy and her two little ones. After playing in the sand at the park and walking along the water shore, we went out to the edge of the pier and just breathed. It was nice to have fresh air, by an ocean none the less, instead of being in a cramped up little car. There were fisherman everywhere. Lots of cute little shops, and of course "pier performers."

isn't he dashing...

stop number two: Our next stop was America's Got Talent. That's right ladies and gentleman. We were gonna be on TV. How much better could it get? none. What could go wrong? nothing.

We rummaged through our tiny suitcase to see if there was anything that fit the dress code for the occasion. You plan on a week at the beach, so no, he didn't pack a suit and tie, nor did I pack a dress. Let alone anything dark. They wanted to make sure the audience was well dressed, because they'd be on TV. We decided we'd be "okay" in jeans and a nice shirt. Even though they were not "permitted." 

After way too much time in traffic and waiting in a forever long line, we handed our ticket to the ticket checker.

We handed him our printed paper, and he gave us nicer looking ones. I don't know why. But, after looking us up and down, he said, Ask for Mike when you get in.

Why do I want to ask for Mike? Who is Mike? How is anyone in this entire place supposed to know who Mike is? Unless... ya know, he's a cool guy. Then everyone knows who Mike is...

We ignored his suggestion and waited in another enormous line.... however, along the way we saw some cool signs (poor lighting mind you)... letting us know how awesome it was to be as close to the cast and performers as we were. Maybe we'd even see the judges...

As we finally approached the doors by the seats, we finally found out what was taking soooo long. There is one man, at one door, looking at each person as they come in. He looks at you and then tells you where to sit... crazy. I did not recognize that they put so much effort into placing people in certain seats. We finally got to the door and we looked us up and down, once again, and then directed us to the second row, center section, right behind the judges. No complaints. This is awesome. 

About five minutes later, we heard the name Mike. Mike approached us, looked at us, and then decided to place us first row, right behind the judges. There is no better seat in the house. Not one. 

I'll take that as a compliment. 

As the show began, the judges came out and we all cheered. Great start. However, what they don't tell you when you are part of filming things live, is that there are a lot of breaks. a lot. Like so many breaks that the one hour show you see, is a six hour time commitment for us. AND we have to smile and clap as they want us to... Makes it less fun. But, among all the technicalities and breaks, we were able to have real conversations with all the judges... Mel B, Howie, and Howard. Cool. 

Oh, and of course, Heidi Klum... who was cold, so guess whose vest got offered as a sacrifice? mine. He offered her my vest. Did she take it? no. But he thought he was funny.

note: non of these are zoomed in. not even a little. i even had to back up. haha. oh, and you may want to turn your sound down.. there was a rather loud "ahhhh" in the row behind us due to excitement. 

Even though were were there wayyyy too long, it was still cool being able to see ourselves on TV when it finally aired. Would I do it again? Probably not. But you totally should!

stop number three: magic mountain. He had told me about this place forever. This place is full of magic, that he thinks is better than any other park out there... I naturally disagreed, growing up with Busch Gardens in Virginia. I don't know if you'll be able to handle the roller coasters, shay. They're kinda intense, and I don't think you're prepared for this. oh please. I've been on plenty. Granted, it had been a while. 

We got to ride their newest roller coaster. and even got cool little stubs for it too!

Coaster after coaster, I began to understand what he meant. Not only did we have to run from one to the next, but we couldn't take any breaks. I knew how to ride a roller coaster, just not Jensen style. And to be honest, I wasn't that good at it. I was so terrible, that I blacked out on Tatsu. Yeah, I guess hanging upside down and being tossed back and forth just wasn't my jam. 

So, he rode the rest by himself... 

and I was perfectly content with that.

stop number four five, six, and every other stop possible: the beach. This should explain how crazy my sweet husband is. No matter the weather, temperature of the water, or questionable substances that might be lurking, if he sees water--he will swim in it. 

California in April, isn't the warmest. And the water isn't either... nor is it very clear. So for those two reasons alone I didn't want to get in. And, after watching a lot about sharks, I wasn't exactly excited about murky water and bull sharks attacks, especially if it was only he in I in the water. Seeing as no one else would be crazy enough to swim in it either.

a highlight at the beach consisted of these two cute little chunkers throwing cheetos at the seagulls. 

Wrong. yes. But also funny. Especially because they would throw it as they jumped, and it was the most adorable sight to witness. Cute little kiddos. 

Despite the overcast on most days, there was one beautiful sunny day that we were able to spend there. All I needed was one. 

The weather was just perfect, so perfect, I didn't even need my jacket for the bike ride along the coast. Most likely one of my favorite parts of the trip.

Even though the car almost blew up, we had to sit and smile for six hours straight hours, I passed out on a roller coaster, and my shoulders got burned, it was still such a great trip. It's always fun making memories with family and friends. Especially when it's in California.