one knee and a diamond.

Long distant relationships are hard.

During the summer, he lived in Arizona and I was in Utah.

There were many nights where I found myself on our nightly skype sessions, crying because I missed him. However, this night was particularly hard. It was a Tuesday in May, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed to see him. Being the caring, compassionate man he was, he comforted me as best he could. After settling my nerves, I was able to fall asleep in anticipation for my flight out to his home in only three short weeks... I could at least make it until then. 

The next night, he said he had great news for me. He bought a plane ticket. But not just any plane ticket, it was a ticket for this coming Friday, which was only two days away! I was shocked. Two days? What on earth was he thinking? I know I was crying the night before, but it wasn't the end of the world. He didn't have to spend all the extra money for a flight only two days away, I could wait just three weeks...

Regardless, I was very grateful and more than excited to say the least. 

Friday finally came. He flew in to the SLC airport, however, he rented his own car instead of allowing me to pick him up--which was odd. I brushed it off, not thinking too much of it. I anxiously met him about five minutes from my home so I could sneak in a kiss before he came to stay with my family for the weekend. It was my lucky night, because it was raining.

When we arrived at my home, after a beautiful embrace, he immediately approached my dad. I knew it. This was it. This was the weekend. He was going to ask my dad for permission. Seeing as it was late, my father requested they speak in the morning instead, to make sure they'd have enough time to talk. How long did he need? 

May 18, 2013

First thing in the morning he went downstairs to the basement with my father to talk. My mother and I knew exactly what what going on, so we quickly moved the couch from off the vent, and tried our hardest to listen in with our ears pressed to the floor. Not being able to hear very well, I figured I should utilize this time to get ready. I didn't want to look bad on my big day!

Thirty minutes later, while I was putting on my mascara, my father knocked on the bathroom door. This moment shattered my heart: He opened the door and collapsed in my arms. My father was crying. He told me how proud he was of me, and how he knew that I found a good man. I bawled, and bawled. After a few minutes, my dad stood up, composed himself, and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I've never felt worse than at that moment. Marriage is a good thing, right? I shouldn't feel bad. I felt like I had betrayed my father and abandoned him and my family. I wasn't replacing him.
 It was just my time to leave the nest and learn to fly.

After reapplying my mascara, due to the sob fest, I went to see how my fiance-to-be was doing. I found him in the kitchen. He was wearing normal clothes. Why was he wearing normal clothes. THIS is the day! And if that wasn't enough, he asked me what I wanted to do. You're kidding. You should have this entire day planned out to the minute. I told him I didn't really know what we could do. There was no way that today was the day. He had NOTHING planned. After 30-40 minutes of indecisiveness, he asked his sister for advice. She suggested we go to Sundance and ride the ski lift. Just to let you know, that's a rather long drive to take just because we were bored and didn't know what to do. So, what did I do? I got my hopes up once again, and touched up my makeup before we left.

We took his rental car, and drove all the way to Sundance Ski Resort. The canyon leading up to it may have been one of the prettiest sights I had laid my eyes on for quite some time. The colors were beautiful and I was smitten and overwhelmed. He is an idiot if he doesn't ask me here, it's too beautiful to pass up. 

We parked in the parking lot, he grabbed a sweater, and we made our way to the front of the resort. Never being here before, I was overwhelmed with all the beauty. There was an adorable bridge with a creek running under it and I insisted we take a picture. He told me we could snag one on the way back instead. Why? Will I have a ring on my finger when we head back?? I was certain of it.

We entered the ticket center, and I was immediately shocked. The price for one person to ride a ski lift--just to ride it--was quite costly, especially compared to our typical dates. He bought two, and we hiked up to the lift. Knowing this was it, I prepped myself for excitement. My heart was pounding and I found myself a little too anxious.

The view was gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. Now, if he didn't ask me here, he is honestly the worst boyfriend ever, because this is perfect. Being as excited as I was, I may have gotten ahead of myself. I just wanted to help him a little. So, I tried to lead him into a proposal. I would talk to him about all the mushy gushy things, and how perfect he was, and how much I loved him. However, despite my efforts, he seemed to naturally draw away from each of those conversations and point out a deer or perhaps an awkward looking tree. His mind was obviously not in top gear yet, otherwise it woulda happened already. I mean, come on. I set him up perfectly. Hoping that maybe he had other plans, I decided to sit back and enjoy the scenery.

I'm not sure what we talked about on our way up after I attempted to help him out. In fact, I don't even know that I was listening all that much. I just kept thinking why not then? Why not now? When? How come this? How come that? You could say I'm a horrible person, but if you can't tell, I was really excited. We got the the top of the lift, and it almost seemed like he was a little nervous, or anxious. Maybe THIS was it. We got off the lift, safely I might add, and began a short little walk.

And then... I saw a woman with a camera. Was it his sister? That is why "she" suggested we come! Then, I looked over to my left, and my heart melted. I saw a beautiful bouquet of roses.

He was perfect! He knew it! I loved it! And just when it couldn't get any better, I'll never forget-- he uttered these exact words:

Don't get your hopes up, they're not for you.

With which I responded in sheer denial, Pfft. What? Those? I didn't even notice them... Indeed, they were not for me. But I would like to take this moment and share my warmest congratulations to the dear couple that did get engaged at that very spot...even if it wasn't me. 

In hopes that there was still a chance, maybe he would propose somewhere else on the mountain. He suggested we walk up a slight incline to a high point on the mountain. If those flowers at the bottom of the lift weren't for me, surely some would be waiting at the top of this walk. I walked so urgently, he kinda got left a little behind. After huffing and puffing, he caught up to me and suggested we should stop here insisting the view was probably the same... But no, my flowers, your proposal. Its all supposed to be at the top.  Once again, I was disappointed. The view was pretty. But maybe, just maybe, the other couple had stole his thunder so he had to improvise. It could happen at any time, and you can bet I would be waiting for it.

On the way down the lift, I had a feeling, maybe he'd ask. After trying once again to lead him into a proposal. This was it. The last chance. Then we'd be leaving, and the hope for a perfect proposal would be gone. But, I think you've caught on... He didn't ask. And I resorted to smiling away the disappointment, in hopes I'd have my chance at the adorable bridge down below.

Once off the lift, he decided to lead me to the resort lodge. There was a cute gift shop, and we gazed at the merchandise for a few moments. Instead of leaving and heading back down to the parking lot, he said he wanted to look around at the pictures posted in the hallways. The hallways were made of wooden logs, and pictures full of history were hung on every empty space. We slowly made our way down each and every hallway. He had to be buying some time. why else would we be looking at old men we didn't know posted on a wall--and call that interesting. I was fully expectant to catch a glimpse of his sisters curly hair, or come to the end of a hallway and see a huge display of flowers, turn around and find him on one knee. To my dismay, each corner was filled with more hallways and more pictures. No sister. No flowers. 

After we finished starring at old men and buggys, we left. We found ourselves at the bridge. And as you can see, there is still no ring on my finger. But, I guess I got my picture.

By this point, I was very annoyed, just as you are probably feeling: just ask her already. However, this was when I had given up. almost given up. But told myself it was done for. Today was not the day, and that's okay. I wasn't going to ruin a perfect weekend because I was too busy being preoccupied with a silly proposal that would come sooner or later. I just needed to enjoy the short time we had together before he was going to leave the following day. It was time to enjoy this perfect date, instead of allowing my mind to be absent. Once buckled, he told me we were going to The Marconi Grill. I had never been there before. But all I could imagine was macaroni, burgers, and soft drinks. A nice, yummy, casual dinner. Just when I had accepted there was no chance for our proposal, we pulled up to the front entrance and he opened the trunk and grabbed his nice button up shirt. Why? Why does he feel like he needs to change into something nicer? It's just burgers right? Oh boy. I couldn't have been more wrong.

We opened the door and the moment I saw where we were eating, I immediately questioned the price of food. Are you sure you want to eat here? It looks rather expensive. He assured me that it didn't matter, and he was allowed to treat me every once in a while. I couldn't reject his offer, so we took a seat at a dazzling table set for two under strands of lights hung from the ceiling. The waitresses all sang opera and served us so well. We began with bread and oil, then moved onto the main dish--chicken parmigiana. It was delicious. 

The setting was truly romantic. However, the best part was the not so romantic table cloth. It was a big sheet of paper, and they supplied crayons so that we could color and draw. We drew silly pictures, and wrote funny phrases. Then our conversation led to writing instead of speaking. He'd write sweet nothings, and I'd do the same. I'd smile and he'd grin. And then, he paused. He began writing again, and he slowly wrote my name followed by: Will you...

And then the waiter oh so conveniently came asking if I wanted more water. No I don't want more water, you just ruined my special night and my proposal. Now the moment has been ruined. I gave him my glass and just as I turned back around to see the finished writing it said: Pass the salt. That's right. Will you pass the salt? Will you pass the salt?! I passed him the salt, and that was the end of the butterflies and smiles. 

It felt as though he was passing up every opportunity that came his way. Granted if he asked my by writing on a piece of paper with a crayon, I'm sure I would have made it up to be something romantic, when indeed, it isn't. So I guess in retrospect I can thank him for asking me to pass the salt. But that's not the end. Our restaurant was located on what you could call a shopping strip. There were plazas full of people and stores. We wasted time in a few stores here an there, made our way into a toy store and played in the children's reading center.

After an hour of wandering around, he took me to a located in the center of it all. A while back, I told him an adorable proposal idea, before the strings were attached. Since I have an obsession of making wishes in fountains, I always imagined turning around after making a wish and seeing the words, Will you marry me? written in coins. Then to see him on one knee telling me that I was his wish and pour out his heart and soul... Then again when I gave him this idea, it was purely an idea for someone somewhere, not for him specifically. But, if this was it, I wouldn't be disappointed. He gave me a coin, and I made my wish and I turned to see a bunch of randomly tossed coins sitting in a pool of water. Nothing special. I gave up. Officially gave up. For once and for all. This was it. I had fully accepted the fact that it wasn't happening. I knew. He knew. Fate knew it. 

There was a band playing the middle of the square. There were about seven people listening to what they were playing. Two of those people, were about to be us. We took a seat and I pretended to like what they were playing. But in reality, it wasn't all that great. After bobbing my head and tapping my feet to the nonexistent beat, I decided that tonight was not going to be ruined because of my sour attitude: Let's go on an adventure. He took my hand and we ran, yes ran, out the plaza, through all the people, and over the grass. We hopped in the car. Where are we going? With which he responded: I don't know. 

We drove around, what seemed aimlessly, and all along the way he told me all the memories he had. We took a turn off to a dirt road and he told me about all the awesome times he had long-boarding down with his cousins and brothers on family vacations. The farther we got down the road, the steeper the road became. There was no guard rail, no pavement, and only space for one vehicle. Okay, I think we've gone up far enough, because it's getting a little scary up here. However he continued, and then told me how his brothers went exploring up here and how they found the prettiest spot. He insisted we visit it. After 20 minutes of driving on this road, I was positive we were lost. But he in fact pulled over, and we got out of the car. 

This is where things got sketchy. There was one other car on the side, parked by ours, and in the distance I saw a man in uniform. Typically I'd think happy thoughts when seeing these men, but not this time. We were in the middle of nowhere, and he was walking through the brush towards us...  Are you guys meeting a group up kids up there? Cause there's a bunch of candles up there. We were as confused as he was. No, we aren't meeting anyone. Why are there candles? What group of kids are gonna make s'mores over candles? That doesn't make any sense, but to leave them unattended? Ridiculous. We continued to walk up the trail to the perfect spot, but it was a far walk. Much farther than the short walk we took at the top of the ski lift. Ya know, it's kinda far, I bet the view is just as good from right here. Except, this time, he just kept walking, urging me to join him. If I had known we were going hiking I would have worn different shoes. 

As we approached the spot, I saw glimmers of light. My first reaction was not the brightest, but after seeing they were candles, I knew we had once again run into someone else's proposal. As if my day needed this. We quietly approached the spot. There was a fire going, and no one was there; that's about as far as we could see. I tried to just tiptoe passed, but he tried convincing me to go and check it out with him. After each attempt, I simply had enough, and quite frankly began to become a tad sharp with him. No! No! No! No, I will not ruin a perfectly amazing proposal because you are curious! No, no, no. This is not ours! 

To which he responded: What would you say if I told you this was ours?

Tears began to stream down my face. He walked me down the lit path, hand in hand, and brought me to the most beautiful spot. There was a hand-built fire, with stones meticulously placed all the way around. There were two camp chairs, blankets, chocolate cake, sparkling cider, and to top it all of--two dozen roses. I was shocked. All of this? For us? The view was incredible. There were mountains behind us, forests to the left and straight out ahead city lights all along the water. It was perfect. What more could I ask for? 

Still crying, I turned around to thank him for the perfect date, and there he was. On one knee. He addressed me, and asked me the words I had been waiting for my entire life:

Will you marry me?

In his hands was a tiny box, with a beautiful diamond ring inside. Before I could utter anything, I began to sob. He stood up, and picked me up. He kissed me and spun me around, as I tried to say the word, yes.

It honestly was perfect. And knowing that I had tried to make it to happen so many times earlier that day, kills me. He had it all planned out. He knew exactly how it was going to happen, and didn't let me stop him. Sometimes, he honestly does know whats best for me. I still look back at this day with tears in my eyes, and with my heart full of gratitude for a man willing to put together a day that I'd never forget. None of this really matters in the long run. We are together, and if he would have asked me by writing it down with a crayon, I still would have said yes, and we still would have the amazing lives, full of love, that we have now. But, the thought certainly does go a long way. 

But much of the credit really should go to his sister and her husband. Knowing I would want a private engagement but still have pictures, he arranged for them to be waiting just outside the perimeter to meet up with us afterwards to take our picture. Little did I know that they had been putting it all together throughout the entire day while we were out and about, and were patiently waiting for us in a tent, playing card games nearby. Gotta love the head lamp. 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Each day is a dream come true with this hunk of mine.
I absolutely adore him.